Easy as ABC

Google "alphabet book" and you'll find 427,000 entries. Google "trouble falling asleep" and you'll be directed to 167,000 websites. And google "fun" and you get 668,000,000, yes 668 million, links. We think today's episode will tantalize anyone with an interest in those three subjects, as well as all who are interested in word games, crossword puzzles, and even sudokus. We hope you'll play along on your commute, in your office, and at home--whether around the kitchen table or in bed. Please send me the fruits of your labor. We'll post them. It will be fun. (Now we're up to 668,000,001).

If you have trouble creating a single sentence alphabet string, there are other ways to do your ABCs. How about compiling an A to Z list of places you have visited, authors you have read, or first names of people you ever dated.

Class Action

Those of us who graduated from eighth grade at Central School in Glencoe, Illinois, in ( ) remain a tightknit group. (I've intentionally left out the year of our graduation, not to protect the guilty, but to protect the aging!) At any rate, we hold reunions at least as often as our high school class does. Recently, a classmate proposed another reunion dinner. Great idea! Out of towners were as excited as those who wouldn't have to travel for it. It struck me: why can't we add a somewhat non-traditional element to the festivities? And, thus was born this week's episode on www.ampolo.com. Please check it out and comment on that website and/or here on the kind of community-oriented projects a reunion class might perform during a reunion weekend or even an afternoon.

Finals finally finito

With apologies to PETA, we are now in the dog days of August. No closure on the Vick scandal, the NBA ref scandal, or the Barry Bonds sideshow (speaking of doggerel, see bardball.com for some great limericks about Bonds.). We do, however, have winners in the ESPN Who's Now poll and the Ampolotalk, Who's ESPN's most happening personality poll. These winners are respectively, Tiger Woods, who mauled LeBron James and Tony Kornheiser, who outlasted Suzy Kolber. 'nuff said. Let's move on. America will find something else to talk about over the internet or at the water cooler. For this, I recommend HBO's hilarious new series, Flight of the Conchords--seen on Sunday nights after Entourage.

Starbugs

This week's must-see video on our companion site, www.ampolo.com is a movie pitch. If you know any producers hungry (or thirsty) for the next Jaws or Snakes on a Plane, let us know. The video begs several questions:

1) If you were a Hollywood mucky muck, would you see this as a straight horror movie or more as a campy parody?
2) Title preference: Starbugs or Bugs in Coffee?
3) Who do you see as leading man, leading lady? Must be chemistry.
4) Ingmar Bergman died over ther weekend. Do you think he's already rolling over in his grave? How would he have approached this film?
5) If you ran a coffee shop, could you turn misfortune into fortune by coming up with a creative name for a cup of joe with a bug in it? What would you call it?
Comments, please.

ESPN Personality Poll Finals

Suzy sent Dickie V. to the sidelines. Tony squeaked by Kenny. So it's a battle of the Special Ks for supremacy in our mindless poll to determine ESPN's top personality. Send your choice KOLBER or KORNHEISER to Steve@ampolo.com and we'll see which personality KOs the other. Can't predict a winner, but can assure you there will be no ties. A tie is like getting kissed by Joe Namath. Winner will be posted on Thursday August 2.

This continues to be fun, but for more meaningful subject matter, don't forget to check out www.ampolo.com.

Literary Hall of Fame

Next week diehard baseball fans from around the country will gather in Cooperstown, New York, to watch as Cal Ripken, Jr. and Tony Gwynn are inducted into the Hall of Fame. It’s quite possible that some of these fans and those who visit Cooperstown throughout the year will stop at other halls of fame on their journeys. There are such shrines around the country honoring everything from basketball to barbed wire from racquetball to rock and roll.

Strangely, however, there is no national Literary Hall of Fame. Considering all the heavy hitters in the history of American literature, that’s disappointing…and surprising. You would think some enterprising city would recognize the tourist-drawing potential of such an endeavor. That’s the inspiration for this week’s episode on www.ampolo.com, where we ask: if there were such a hall, what five American writers—living or dead-- would you like to see inducted into its inaugural class? We are getting some interesting responses. So check out the video and post your fab five there...and here on ampolotalk, too.

Four on the Floor

Contrary to reports, there is no, I repeat, NO, evidence that the results of this contest are tainted due to vote fraud. Yes, I have incurred some debt over the last few years due to Fantasy Football League losses, but said debt did not cause my fellow coaches to strong arm me into tinkering with this poll to determine ESPN's most happenin' sports personality--counterprogramming to that network's Who's Now series. By the way, if you have not been watching, you might be interested to learn that ESPN replaced its first round panelists--Michael Wilbon, Keyshawn Johnson, and Kirk Herbstreit--with Mike Greenberg, Jessica Biel, and Kevin James, a veritable Who's Now Who's Who in their own right.

But I digress,here are the results of quarterfinal voting

Keith Olbermann Bracket
CHRIS BERMAN V. DICK VITALE WINNER:VITALE

Melissa Stark Bracket
SUZY KOLBER V. STUART SCOTT WINNER: KOLBER

Craig Kilborn Bracket
PETER GAMMONS V. TONY KORNHEISER WINNER: KORNHEISER

Joe Theismann Bracket
KENNY MAYNE V. MICHAEL WILBON WINNER: MAYNE

So, polls are now open through Thursday, July 26 to vote on semifinals.

VITALE v. KOLBER
KORNHEISER v. MAYNE

Cast your votes by emailing Steve@ampolo.com
And don't forget to view our 2 minute videos at www.ampolo.com